White Picket Fence Counseling Center Newsletter Archives

Our Culture of Food, Weight and Exercise

People who have an eating disorder often want to know why. Even though there is much more to recovery than understanding what’s behind your unhealthy eating behaviors, piecing together the different factors may give you some helpful insights.

On the website of the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), they present four sets of factors that may contribute to eating disorders. In previous articles I wrote about the psychological, interpersonal and biological factors, and today we will discuss the social/cultural factors.

Whether you’re glancing at the magazines displayed near the checkout line at the grocery store, listening to commentary about people walking the red carpet at the Academy Awards or just having a casual conversation with friends or work colleagues, you’ll hear people being judged based on their physical appearance.

This is such a small way of looking at things, and doesn’t put any value on all the other more important qualities that make us who we are.

Then there is the family culture. There can be a family of triathletes who are all into sports and value physical coordination. There can be a family who are very tuned in to physical appearance and only appreciate the latest fashions. There can be a family who are very sedentary and watch a lot of TV. Whichever culture you’re raised in has an impact on your views about eating, weight and exercise.

When my father was diagnosed with high blood pressure, the whole family got swept up into his efforts to lose weight and get fit. So my family culture became thinness. I had an aunt who was on a well-known diet program for 45 years. When people greeted each other, the first topic wasn’t always how people were, it was who had lost or gained the most weight, and how.

As you recover from disordered eating, keep in mind that the cultures around you are not necessarily changing. It’s a matter of being able to be present with oneself and finding fulfillment in your vision of recovery, things like being healthy, happy and comfortable in your body.

When the Body is Programmed for Disordered Eating

For people with an eating disorder, “diets” don’t work. This is true whether dealing with compulsive overeating, anorexia, bulimia or other unhealthy behaviors and disordered eating such as emotional eating or food obsession. Changing what you’re doing with food is not about applying willpower or self-discipline. Sometimes there are complex biological issues underlying someone’s food behaviors.

At NEDA’s website, the National Eating Disorders Association, they outline four factors that may contribute to eating disorders. The first two are psychological and interpersonal, and today we will discuss biological factors.

There is fascinating research being done in this area. We already know that there are brain chemicals that affect hunger and digestion, and that these may be unbalanced in people who have eating disorders.

While of course we leave these research pursuits to our colleagues in the medical and scientific fields, as therapists we follow it closely, especially when working in a team approach with these other professionals.

At our center we always rule out the physiological issues first. Often our clients will need to go to their primary care physician or psychiatrist to find the right balance of medications/supplements that will restore them to balance or homeostatis.

For example, a client with depression could have a thyroid issue, low blood sugar or a vitamin deficiency. We would want that treated before we addressed the depression in therapy, or at the same time.

And then there is the nature versus nurture debate. When eating disorders run in families, as they often do, is that because everyone in the family is genetically predisposed to have an eating disorder, or because family members have learned unhealthy behaviors from each other?

It’s important to point out that just because an eating disorder is genetic or physiological, it doesn’t mean it can’t be changed, but it sometimes requires a more intensive therapeutic process, or inpatient therapy.

Relationship Issues Can Contribute to Eating Disorders

People often want to understand the cause of their eating disorder. Even though knowledge alone will not create long-lasting recovery, it can help guide the treatment process and help the person understand why we’re suggesting different things.

NEDA, the National Eating Disorders Association, spells out the four factors that may contribute to eating disorders. Last week we discussed some of the psychological factors behind eating disorders and how we treat those factors, and today we will discuss the second group of factors – interpersonal factors.

At our center, we work on relationship issues from our clients’ very first therapy session and all the way through their therapy process – partly because your relationships will change while you are recovering from an eating disorder.

We have relationships with many types of people, and some of these interactions can be very complex. We have parents, siblings, children, extended family, in-laws, friends, work colleagues, bosses, teachers, students, neighbors and committee members, not to mention all the strangers we encounter as we move through our day.

Any and all of these relationships can contribute to eating disorders because people can be difficult to deal with. Eating disorder behaviors can seem easier than facing potential confrontations or disagreements with people. People speak through the food when they can’t speak with words.

Interwoven with the psychological factors we discussed last week, relationships can be linked to emotional issues such as low self-esteem (related to a history of being teased about size or weight) or depression and lack of control (as a result of physical, sexual or emotional abuse).   

We work a lot with our clients on how to express themselves and deal with people. As I often say, “the goal is to be able to speak your truth, with kindness and compassion.” At Castlewood they use psychodrama, which we also use in our intensive programs. Psychodrama provides a way to go back and heal the wounds of the past, grieve, put them behind us and move forward, in order to be able to deal with current relationships.

It’s really important to form healthy relationships with others while you’re forming a healthy relationship with self.

Why You May Have an Eating Disorder

By this point in the year, many people have already tried more than one diet program in order to achieve their New Year’s resolution to lose weight. Others have been trying to keep their daily promise of not using their eating disorder behaviors. They all may be wondering, “Why can’t I do this? Why can’t I eat in a healthier way, no matter how hard I try?”

This is also often one of the first questions our clients ask when they begin therapy. “Why do I have this eating disorder?” They’re convinced that if they know why they do what they do with food, they’ll be able to stop doing those things.

Knowledge is helpful, and we definitely spend a lot of our time in therapy helping you gain knowledge and insights about yourself. Yet knowledge alone doesn’t give you what you need to make the necessary changes, especially without support.

On the website of NEDA, the National Eating Disorders Association, they offer an overview of the four basic causes (contributing factors) of eating disorders. Over the next few weeks, I’ll present each factor and go into more detail about what’s involved.

Their first point is that eating disorders are very complicated, and it’s never just one thing that’s the cause. If it was, there would be just one form of treatment, and as we know, there are many.

The first set of factors that may contribute to eating disorders are psychological factors.

If eating disorders are a method of coping with what’s not working in your life, what are the psychological factors you are coping with? Someone may feel low self-esteem, or a lack of control over what’s happening in their life. They may be experiencing other mood disorders like depression, anxiety, loneliness, grief, abandonment or resentment.

Recovery is not just about eating differently, it’s about looking at your underlying emotions, so that you can begin thinking different and acting differently. 12-step programs, therapy and treatment centers are all places you can go to do this important emotional work.

Workbooks can be a very helpful tool. For example, for low self-esteem we recommend The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi, 52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward and Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David D. Burns, M.D. In our experiences, however, workbooks are only helpful if you share your work with someone else.

An eating disorder can be a form of rebellion for someone who feels a lack in control in their life or is feeling angry at someone but is having trouble expressing the anger. It’s as though they’re speaking with the food, saying the things they can’t say with words.

Therapy gives you a place to say those words. Sometimes a more intensive level of therapy is needed, where someone visits our office three times a week. In essence, we become their outpatient program.

For some people, inpatient treatment is the best option. I recently visited the Castlewood Treatment Center for Eating Disorders in St. Louis and learned about some of their treatment methods. For example, they use Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) to help their clients integrate different parts of themselves, in order to access their inner compassion, confidence and curiosity.

The IFS process also helps the person see the eating disorder as just one part of their identity, not the sole definition of who they are. This concept was also covered in the book Life Without Ed, by Jenni Schaefer. Your eating disorder may have actually helped you survive and get through traumatic events, but once you go into recovery it’s because the eating disorder is not working for you anymore. It’s definitely not helping your health.

For reducing depression, anxiety and phobias, we may apply a number of different techniques such as thought stopping, cognitive behaviour therapy, mindfulness or thought restructuring. We often recommend that people incorporate movement into their day, in particular things that get them outdoors in natural light.

These psychological factors are only one of four interrelated factors that may contribute to eating disorders. Future blog posts will explore the other sets of factors.

Making Friends With the World

When you’re dealing with an eating disorder, you may feel very isolated and separate from the rest of the human race. Relationships can be difficult, and healing some of your patterns may be a central theme in your recovery.

Here’s a different slant on working on your relationships: How can you be more social and friendly when you’re out and about in the world?

Set this as your intention in the morning, and think about the opportunities you may have ahead of you. For example, if you tend to walk by yourself over the lunch hour, ask someone to come along. If you usually keep to yourself, make eye contact with the people you pass, or even say, “Hi!” Practice saying, “Yes,” when someone invites you to do something social.

If you have a serious social phobia or agoraphobia, you can get help for that. If, like many of us, you’re simply feeling hesitant and unsure of how other people will respond to you, start small. I predict that once you’re being friendlier, you’ll get on a roll.

Be a good friend to the world by being an attentive listener – whether it’s two minutes to ask the cashier at the grocery store how her day is going, or half an hour to hear out a co-worker who’s having a hard time with something.

Strive to be an upbeat influence on the conversations you have. Avoid gossiping or talking about other people. Change the subject if a conversation is focused on something negative.

When you make friends with the world, you create positive feelings that ripple forward and come right back to you. You’ll attract more love, friendliness and support from other people, and you’ll boost your self-esteem with the knowledge that you’ve made someone else’s day a little brighter.

Be Your Own Best Friend

Relationships can be challenging, and are often at the root of emotional issues and addictions. While you’re doing some of the work to repair and rebuild your relationships with others, you can start by being your own best friend.

It’s very empowering to know that we can not only take of ourselves, but that we are complete on our own without needing someone else to fill anything in. Being that comfortable with oneself starts from the self-awareness from having looked within. Journaling, therapy and 12-step programs are all excellent ways to accomplish that.

This process will also help build acceptance – first for yourself, and then also for others. It’s a way of validating whatever thoughts or feelings come up, and then working on healing or changing them. This way, nothing – and no one – has to be “wrong.” It just is what it is, until it is something different.

The title of this blog post was inspired by a book I’ve had for many years, called How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz. They have some really neat suggestions, including:

• Having a “bedroom slipper day” – my version of this is allowing yourself a day to just be at home, not pushing yourself beyond what is healthy for you
• Seeing the source of happiness as being within, not outside of ourselves somewhere (a good reminder)
• Just as the title says: Being  your own best friend is the ultimate friendship; liking yourself, feeling fulfilled and true to yourself

Your Body is Your Friend

When you have distorted or unhealthy body image, it can cause you to want to harm yourself instead of love yourself. So before we move on to look at how to be a better friend to yourself and others, let’s talk about how to understand and start to heal your body image issues.

One of my favorite tools for self-awareness is journaling. When you put pen to paper, no one will see what you’ve written unless you choose to show them. This creates an atmosphere of safety and honesty that can lead to some powerful insights and discoveries about yourself.

You can find ready-made workbooks or journaling prompts about many different topics, or you can simply ask yourself a question at the top of the page and write down your answer.

If you really want to get to know yourself, join a 12-step program. It doesn’t need to be one related to food – choosing a group like Al-Anon or Clutterers Anonymous may be less intimidating, while still giving you access to the self-awareness and growth that come from working the 12 steps.

Therapy is another useful tool for understanding the body image issues that are affecting your relationships with yourself and others.

Gentle movement choices like we discussed recently on the blog are important forms of self-care that can create a self-nurturing relationship with your body. Things like yoga, relaxation and massage can all help you feel better in your body.

Choose your clothes carefully. Do the fabrics feels good against your skin, or is anything constricting or irritating you? Do your shoes support you in comfort as you move around, or are they too tight or worn down?

Do you make an effort to feel good about your appearance, choosing clothing and accessories in flattering colors and shapes? Do you practice good hygiene and take an extra few minutes to brush your hair?

In that same article about movement choices, I also mentioned my father’s advice about putting on my “tennis whites” – looking the part really did make me feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin – and as a tennis player!

When you can learn to treat yourself better at the most fundamental level of body care and awareness, you’re well on your to being your own best friend. We’ll talk more about that next week.

Healthy Movement Resources and Examples from the White Picket Fence Staff

Here are some of the physical activities that our staff at White Picket Fence Counseling Center love to do:

Diosa Moran, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern: I enjoy bike riding on nature trails, yoga, dancing and Zumba classes, hiking, and breath work for relaxation.

Jaki Hitzelberger, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern: As a former athlete, I enjoy a variety of movement now, always switching it up. I enjoy being with others playing sports, biking and paddle boarding, and also working out with light weights. I don't like the word, "cardio," but I like movement activities such as dance. I like to take a month off now and then to focus on other things I enjoy, like reading.

Laura Silvestre, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern: I enjoy walking my dog around the lake everyday, jogging outdoors, going to the gym, and yoga.

Janet McCurdy, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern: I am an avid walker, walking about 4 1/2 miles a day. Not only is walking a great exercise for me physically, but it is a time each day that I can listen to music, clear my mind or just enjoy being outdoors. I practice yoga regularly and also enjoy riding my mountain bike.

Rachel Lowe, Registered Clinical Social Work Intern: Various forms of walking- walking dogs or with my baby and window shopping, going on long nature walks, playing on the floor with the baby, and bike riding are my most usual forms of movement.

Kristin Solberg, Licensed Clinical Social Worker: So as most working moms can relate, you can imagine my horror when in the middle of a recent meeting, Sandee began going around the circle asking my co-workers what they did for "movement" in their lives. I felt like I was back in school and I immediately started panicking that she would call on me next! What would I say? I belong to the YMCA but I haven't gone there to exercise in around three years! The only time I enter that building is to bring my kids to basketball or swim lessons. I began thinking about what kind of movement I actually do and I was surprised by my answers.

As a working mom I am always on the go, which means lots of movement! I also take every opportunity that I have with my family to take walks, pull the kids in the wagon, ride bikes, go to the playground (no, I don't sit on the bench with my cell phone!), and to just play in the backyard. So although I may not have as much scheduled exercise time as I would like, I am certainly adequate in the movement department, more than I had realized! Phew! I DO have an answer.

Sandee Nebel, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist: I call myself the “ultimate cross trainer.” I take a Yoga class a few times a week: yin yoga, gentle Hatha yoga, or Iyengar yoga (I like to have lots of variety), you may have seen me walking my dog up to Park Avenue, and training at SSP. (I’ve recently hurt my back, , so I am restricted to walking and VERY gentle yoga....it's been a challenge and a gift of creating extreme self-care.)

Here are some of our suggested resources and tools for your physical activity routine:

• Personal trainers – one-on-one or in a group
• DVDs that you can rent or borrow from the library
• Walking clubs
• Group exercise programs

Check your community bulletin boards, local newspaper, gym or YMCA/JCC for listings. 

The Powerful Benefits of Physical Activity

At White Picket Fence Counseling Center, we talk a lot about the mind-body connection. Science has shown us that cultivating a positive attitude and peaceful thoughts can actually bring about physical healing.

Can it go the other way? Can increasing your physical activity help to ease your mind and calm your thoughts? Absolutely!

In moving the body, there’s an internal movement that happens at the same time. We feel more whole and well. We come back into our bodies with more physical energy and the stamina to keep up with our daily tasks or add new ones. It just plain feels good (thanks to the release of endorphins – those happy brain chemicals) and helps us be more optimistic.

If strength training is one of the right physical activities for you, you may notice that as you grow stronger physically you also start feeling stronger about your sense of self. It’s a beautiful thing.

These are just a few of the many mental, emotional and physical benefits of incorporating healthy movement into your life. Which ones have you noticed? Which ones would you add?

Getting Physical – What to Do and What Not to Do

Getting physical isn’t about making a resolution, it’s about making a plan that fits you and your lifestyle. If you’re ready to get into action with more physical activity in your life, start with a plan.

Unlike a resolution, this is something you can start any day of the week, any month of the year. Or at this very moment. Then commit to try it for a few weeks to see how it feels.

A lot of people don’t stick with their programs because they try to do too much, too soon because they have an all-or-nothing mentality. This is a recipe for discouragement at best, injury at worst.

We’ll be talking more next week about how healthy movement can heal body image issues. One of the ways it does this is by giving you ways to nurture the body and treat it kindly. When that is your focus, you’re less likely to do the things that harm your body, such as over-eating, under-eating or over-exercising.

Some of the most nurturing movement options include: 

• Gentle yoga
• Walking outdoors
• Moving to music (dancing)
• Swimming
• Relaxation
• Simple stretching

To choose the right activities for you, consider your health issues, how much time you have, how motivated you are and what appeals to you. Once I worked at an agency and a lot of my co-workers were running 5Ks. One of them said, “C’mon, you can do it with me!” I jogged, but I’d never done a 5K before. When she told me she had placed first for her age category in her first event so I figured, “Hey, I can do this. Maybe I’ll even win!”

Well, it was a humbling experience. Not only didn’t I win, I didn’t even place. And it was an agonizing effort – I was so sore it took a week to recover. Running – and winning – a 5K wasn’t an appropriate goal for me. So please, learn from my mistake and consider your activity goals carefully!

To find time for physical activity, start small. If you’re already doing something, add a little more. Or to start, find 15 minutes – take away some TV time, reading time or even a little sleep time. Some find early mornings are best, so it’s out of the way, but anytime is fine.

I remember when I got my dog. Soleil is a BIG dog who needs to be walked a lot. It was too hard to plan long walks, so we did a lot of 10-minute walks. It wasn’t long before I noticed that I felt much fitter.

Little things add up. You may think that spending time in the garden is nothing, but it’s something. Not all of your physical activities need to have measurable outcomes. If you’re up and moving around, it counts! And when you add a little walk here and a game of catch with the kids there, you’ve got some significant activity! You can call yourself the ultimate cross-trainer.

Don’t underestimate the importance of clothing. I played tennis as a kid, and I remember my father saying, “You’re halfway there if you’re wearing the right clothes.” Just by putting on those tennis whites, I felt empowered and more confident in my skills. I hated to admit it, but my father was right.

Here are some things we don’t typically endorse at White Picket Fence Counseling Center, and why:

• Intense activities such as running, ultra-long workouts, boot camps and hot yoga – we advocate for a more balance, nurturing approach to physical activity
• Exercising outdoors by yourself after dark – we want you to be safe and not put yourself at risk
• Improper footwear such as flip-flops or worn-out sneakers – these won’t provide the support you need and may lead to injury

As I said last week, doing something – anything – is something. Make sure it’s something that appeals to you and feels like you can keep up. Next week, we’ll look at the many benefits of physical activity.

Getting into an Active Mindset

A quick reminder that before you start any new physical activity, it’s essential that you have a physical examination and get clearance from your doctor. This is critically important and must be taken seriously.

Along with a physical check-up, you also want to do a mental check-up in order to get into an active mindset. The first shift you might need to make is with the language you’re using. If the word “exercise” has negative associations for you, simply replace it with “physical activity,” “healthy movement” or another term of your choice.

You might also need to let go of some false beliefs or other forms of distorted thinking about exercise, such as all-or-nothing thinking (“I missed my walk today, so I might as well forget about doing anything else”), disqualifying the positive (“I was late and only did half the yoga class – that doesn’t count”) and should statements (“I should be able to walk as fast as her”).

Aside from the amazing benefits that we’ll discuss more next week, healthy movement can also protect you from the impact of a sedentary lifestyle. An October 2012 study in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, as reported in the New York Times, found some serious health risks of being sedentary, including diabetes, cardiovascular disease and premature death.

So next, update your expectations of what counts as “real” physical activity. I like to remind my clients that when it comes to healthy movement, something is something. You don’t need to jog, lift weights or do anything you don’t want to do, especially in the beginning.

Your goal is to do less nothing (sedentary, passive activities like working at the computer or watching television) and more something (active tasks that get you moving around).

The next thing to get clear in your mind is: Are you ready to start an activity program? If not, you’ll be on an uphill journey the whole way. One way to think of it is to consider where you are in the five stages of change: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance.

If you’re not in the action stage yet – be honest – then ask yourself what you need in order to get there. Maybe it’s professional help, like a therapist, life coach or personal trainer. Maybe it’s personal help like a healthy movement buddy.

Once you’re in action, staying motivated can sometimes be even trickier. We’ll talk more about specific activities next week, but for now I’ll just tell you that I have to mix things up in order to stay motivated, e.g., yoga and walking my dog. I know I would burn out from doing just one thing.

Consider now what might derail your efforts and plan ahead for how to handle those things. For example, if a rainy day ruins your plans for a walk, maybe you could have a playlist or CD handy of some songs you like to dance to.

It’s just like if you relapse with your food behaviors – if you miss a day, or even a week, just pick up and get back on track when you can.

Even if you’ve been told not to exercise for a period of time, you can include “rest” in this phase of your activity plan, and approach it with the same discipline as any other goal. You will still be in the mindset of carrying out your physical treatment plan.

Next week, we’ll talk more about specific activity ideas – what to do and not to do.

How to Deal With Jealousy and Sorrow

As we see all the time in our sessions at the White Picket Fence Counseling Center, relationship problems are at the heart of most eating disorders. Often the underlying angst that’s causing people to act out with food can be traced back to an interpersonal situation.

I’ve been practicing yoga for much of my life, but I recently discovered just how much yoga can be a gift for those in recovery from food addiction and eating disorders. And this includes giving us a tool for how to handle difficult people.

Last week, I revealed the first two “locks” – two types of people that we deal with, and the corresponding “keys” that we can apply. Today, we’ll talk about the final two.

First are the virtuous people, who want to tell us about all of the good things they’ve done and everything that’s going well in their lives. For some of us, this could trigger feelings of jealousy or contempt, and even thoughts of revenge or sabotage so we can take away some of these good things (and maybe keep them for ourselves, as if that was possible!).

Instead, the key to dealing with virtuous people, according to this yoga philosophy, is with sheer and utter delight – celebrating with them and being glad for their success. As I suggested last week, you might need to use the 12-step slogan of “fake it until you make it,” but I guarantee you’ll feel better about yourself and have a more peaceful day.

The fourth and final lock – the type of person that might be difficult for you to deal with – is the wicked person. Just like with unhappy people, it can be uncomfortable or even painful to be with someone who seems downright evil. You may react and want to fix the person or situation, or get away from the person as soon as possible.

The key is to detach; approach this person with disregard or indifference. It’s the ultimate practice of non-attachment and setting boundaries. Letting someone be where they are without needing to take on the emotions or the problem.

12-steps programs such as Al-Anon and CODA help people who are dealing with co-dependency and boundary issues.

By responding with friendliness, compassion, delight and disregard, we can greatly improve our relationships with others. This simple system of locks and keys can bring the peace we find in yoga and mediation out into the real world of our day-to-day lives.

Maybe it can also help us deal more compassionately with ourselves, when it’s us having the negative thoughts or doing other things we’re not proud of. Maybe today we can detach from our suffering, delight in ourselves, feel proud of ourselves and be happy for ourselves.

How to Deal With Unhappy People

In my recent studies of yoga therapy and the principles of yoga, I’ve discovered a fascinating tool that can help us deal with the difficult people.

According to this yoga concept, all of the people you will meet in your lifetime will fall into one of four categories – what they call “locks.” Each one of these can be challenging to us for different reasons.

Take happy people, for example. If you’ve feeling very unhappy yourself, or if you’re dealing with your own suffering, you may feel very out of sync with a happy person. This can feel uncomfortable and you may express that, either consciously or unconsciously, driving a wedge through the interaction.

The “key” for dealing with happy people is to greet them with joy and friendliness. If you’re not feeling that joy, try pretending. There’s an expression in 12-step recovery that suggests, “fake it until you make it.” There is also plenty of scientific evidence that laughing and smiling – even when you don’t feel it – makes you feel happier. And it definitely has a positive impact on whoever you are smiling at!

So what if you come upon an unhappy person? The temptation may be to react, try to fix the person, or even get angry at the person for being negative. With this lock, the key is compassion. Validate the person and allow them to feel what they’re feeling.

Next week, we’ll talk about the remaining two locks and their corresponding keys. Practicing these keys can help to bring peace into your daily interactions and remove the need to use food and unhealthy behaviors to distance yourself from difficult people.

Dealing With Difficult People

Much of what we deal with in counseling sessions with our clients is healing relationships. When you are recovering from food addiction or an eating disorder, difficult relationships can sometimes trigger the compulsion to relapse.

We can use food or exercise in unhealthy ways, or obsess about body image, as defense mechanisms that help us avoid dealing with people. Unfortunately, most of us aren’t given proper relationship skills growing up.

Maybe some of us learned some resiliency, but for the most part we have to constantly learn and re-learn how to navigate relationships, whether at work, in play, at home or in the community. Each lesson usually comes out of painful conflicts that are the underlying cause of our angst.

Whether you’re back in close quarters with family members over the holiday season, or dealing with difficult people at any time of year, the right tools can help you detach from the drama and stay committed to your recovery.

Though I’ve been practicing yoga for years, I’ve recently ramped up my study of yoga therapy and the principles of yoga. We’ve started a yoga therapy program at the White Picket Fence Foundation building, with more groups and classes planned for the future.

I’ve also discovered a fascinating, simple and effective concept for how to stay peaceful in all of the relationships and interactions in your daily life.

While it can seem as though we’re up against many different kinds of relationship problems, this yoga philosophy teaches that there are actually only four types of people we deal with – called “locks.” The beauty of this concept is that for every lock, there is a key!

Over the next two weeks, I’ll share about these four locks and their corresponding keys. With these four keys in your pocket, you’ll have what you need to navigate any interactions, even challenging ones, over the holidays and beyond.

The most important goal is to find peace, whether that’s through meditation, yoga, journaling, therapy, calling a friend or another tool. If we have a serene mind, we’re not in disorder or dis-ease and we don’t have to use or abuse food or our bodies because we don’t have to change the way we feel.

Mindfulness and Meditation Resources for Your Journey

This month we’ve been talking about mindfulness and meditation, including a video about the benefits of meditation and how to open your mind to meditation. Here are a few recommended resources if you would like to learn more about these topics:

Books

• The Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson
• Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth
• Natural Prozac by Joel Robertson
• Managing Stress by Brian Luke Seaward

Online resources

• Guided imagery recordings and other mindfulness and meditation resources from Health's Journeys by Belleruth Naparstek -
• Expert-recommended books about mindfulness and meditation at Shambhala Publications – including books by Thich Nhat Hanh
• Books and articles by Dr. Susan Albers
• Mindfulness mediation resources by Jon Kabot-Zinn

Recovery resources

For those in 12-step recovery, ask your sponsor or other recovering compulsive overeaters or food addicts about their experiences with Step 11. learning from others who have walked in your shoes can be a powerful and healing experience..

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